dont bother

this is not a nice post. it will be boring and a lil wu liao. but i cant help it. =/ i actually changed my blogskin! haha! can u believe it?!? lmao. lame. haha. am so happyyy!! hehehehe.. took about.. 30 mintues i think. alot of editing here and there. but hey, im proud of myself! then after change d, i look around, i saw a nicer skin. -.-" 1st APRIL!!! aiyoh~ next day oni change lah~ malas.. hahaha.. i wonder why im writing this post anyway. oh yea~ hmm.. please, if u dont wanan waste ur time, dont read what im gonna say. ********************************************************************************* i remember the day we chat. u do? i remember when u were sad and down. i was so worried for u, as a fren, then. do u remember? and i remember the nite. 31st december 2005. u were lonely. or so. u told me you were. but someone told me you lied. im sorry but i trust myself more than i trust you. and i trust that fren more than i trust you. YOU LIED. TO ME. how could you. i was fine then. after all the next day you'll be gone. ryte? the memory still haunts me. u called me that morning before u left. u said goodbye. you were so sweet. oh how touched i was. and u were gone. i missed u terribly then. i was not as matured as i am now. then the week after that u called me. all the way. oh i was so surprised. but i cant deny, i was happy. too happy indeed. and that nite u called me again. saying good nite and asked me to take care. and again, i was super happy. i didnt knw why tho. i remember missing u like crazee, but i wonder if u knew? then there was a break. i waited for u. and everything went well. =) and i remember.. u promised to at least sms me before u're gone. again. i remember waiting so long. i was seated in fornt of the computer table. hearing THAt song. posting icons on my blog. was so sad that u didnt text me. i thought u lied. but u didnt. u texted me! and i was happy but at the same time sad, coz u had to go. later on, we didnt really keep in touch anymore. until u came back. i wonder if u knew.. i was going through hell every single day without you. i would tell ah kor abt it. until one day ah kor told me the truth. he wasnt the only one. buti betrayed ah kor and my frens and family. i trusted you. u came back, we werent as close as before. i wasnt bothered. i guess. i was busy in school. we met, eventually, after so long. and you didnt seem to care. people then mistaken us and thought of us as one. u lied to them. u flirted with me. u told me u already have a gal. i pretend to be happy, but u think i was? and i remembered, before my bday, when everyone was turning their backs towards me, i thought i had you. but you werent any different. u turned ur back towards me like everyone else did. but what could i do? i went to those who were close to me. and knw you. and i trust. and they would understand. there were a few nice people who made me feel better. i knw ah kor doesnt like this. but i was helpless. i felt so stupid. i was about to give up. u dont seem to care. i finally talked to my frens in school. to i knw they didnt like this kinda matter, they borrowed me their ears. i knw. thanks so much. then one night, i saw u online. and i knew tht was my only chance to get things straight. i did. i confornted you. but i didnt confess. mayb tht was the mistake. all i did was confront you. u admit that u sinned too much in ur past and said that you changed. i was doubtful. and then u told me, not to trust you. how could you? besides him, u were the one i trusted. i was so fcked up, i cried the whole nite. but did u knw? i guess u were happily enjoying ur moment. having another victim. i knew i couldnt stand it anymore.. u were just.. too cruel to be true. i couldnt believe it myself. **************************************************************************** im sorry. i cant continue. this is ripping my heart apart. im sorry. anyway i just wanan say thanks alot to my frens who were there for me when i was going thru the big storm. it was great to have you around. to the person itself, i knw u didalot for me, thanks alot. i dont know how to repay you. im serious. i really appreciate what u did for me. and for all the things i did that might have hurt you or anything, im truly sorry. i didnt mean to. you are a nice guy. but i choose to give up my feelings on you, and carry on with life. i wish u success in life, and hope u get what/whoever u want. im sure we'll still be frens. but u wont be treating you as i did. we never can. release me frm my past. =) woopss.. wat a post. ahhaa.. wasted my time. hmm.. am so bored. it 0111 hours now. cant sleep. duno why. aihz~ have got alot of things to do in school tmr. all post pmr programmes. i wanna go shopping! i wanna work!!! $.$ hehehehehe.. =P oklaahhh.. gotta go sleep d. HAVE to sleep no matter what. haha.. gotta go school tmr. =) nite nite