this is my CNY.

i know i shouldnt have trusted you. you people are all the same. yet u assured me tht u r different. oh for gawd's sake.. u are?!? u said u wont hurt me, u said u will b there, etc etc etc. those words, they were all lies. i never trusted you. never trusted anyone. u knew it. but i dont know why i told myself tat u can be trusted. i put so much faith in u. i put so much hope in u. and now, u r ignoring me. so much for calling u my close friend. =/ its the forth day cny. here i am at 11.40am in my room blogging. life's boring. it sucks. i know im supposed to get down and dirty with my homework but im totally lost in my school work. catching up will be difficult i know, but it will b easier if i had friends around to help me. i cant really carry on with my sch work now, for im lost, and i hav to wait till esper or wendy returns home frm their kampung. then i'll pay a visit to them and go thru my work. so now im like.. hanging. sighz.. i wanna go out. i just wanna go out! i wanted to go shopping.. need a new pair of shoes and want another pair of shorts. sis going out with erhern after this, to mp. well i wanted to tag along but then she said they will b watching a movie and i hav to walk alone. =/ so i decided not to go. see? my life is so sad.. no friends to tag along with me. i mean, yeah, my friends are great! but some of them are hmm.. wats d word. i dont know.. they're not as out-going as i am. not that im trying to say tht im very out going.. but im allowed to go out with frens who are guys, girls or watsoever. i mean, SOME of my frens, even talking to guys is called 'miang'? going out with guy frens is not so right? oh puh leese laaa~~ i am really speechless. i just dont blend in with my friends. well mayb some, but in another way. deep down inside, i know where i belong. i dont belong to the school i am in now, but i belong in another school. at times i feel like screaming to my dad, telling him im being all negative because i was sent to the wrong school. seriously, i can talk more with my frens frm another school than my school. everyone knows my frens in school are just friends. not friends to hangout with. even my sis can tell me that! now tat i have mentioned this, i realise that my life sucks to hell. i can live my life without a boyfren, but i need friends. close friends. and the fact is, i just lost one. so how am i to see this world as an "exciting" jungle? i'd better stop complaining and carry on with my work. well, for those of u who hav read the entire boring thingy up there, dont feel sorry for me, for there is not a need to do so. just feel glad and happy for urself. =) *this entry was not meant for hurting anyone. if it did, then im truly sorry.*